ASK DOG LADY | Pup Picks Closet Over Forest of Ankles

by Monica Collins
December 23, 2007

Party time drives pooch into hiding
Dog Lady

Dear Dog Lady: My partner and I like to entertain, but our parties seem to drive our little Yorkipoo, Prunella, nuts. Recently, when Jeff had his office colleagues over for cocktails, Prunie vanished. Jeff wanted to show her off and called for her constantly but she didn’t budge from her hiding place. We didn’t even know where she was until after everyone left. We finally found her sleeping in the back of our bedroom closet.

Over New Year’s we plan to have a big open house and we’d love to parade our little girl for the guests. What can we do to make Prunella more sociable?

Peter, Chicago

Dear Peter: Consider festive matters from petite Prunella’s perspective. How would you feel attending a cocktail soiree in the Land of the Giants? Imagine trying to work the room when you can’t see through a forest of ankles. The whiffs of hors d’oeuvres would overwhelm your senses, but the monster party people would only drop crumbs on your head — or, worse, step on you. These are the perils for a little Yorkipoo trying to maneuver through any human social gathering.

Prunella has sent her regrets. Don’t force her to make nice. Let her go wherever she wants during the open house and don’t be surprised if you find her in the back of the closet again. Before guests arrive, make sure Prunella has a soft blanket, a couple of her toys and treats so she can party in peace.

Dear Dog Lady: My girlfriend is absolutely perplexed by her dog, a terrier I think, and yearns to know what he is thinking. She wants to bring him to a dog psychic. I checked out Sonya Fitzpatrick, the Sirius radio pet psychic, who offers private phone readings for $300. I’m thinking of getting my girlfriend a gift certificate for this. Do you think I will be throwing away my money?

Brian, Lincoln Park

Dear Brian: In the spirit of full disclosure, Dog Lady recently had a complimentary phone reading with Fitzpatrick, and the results were mixed. You merely send off a picture of the dog to be analyzed and wait by the phone.

Fitzpatrick mentioned a “black dog” that my dog wants to see. This could have been any number of black dogs. I chose to believe it was a Lab who recently died and was very friendly with my dog. She also mentioned my pet’s culinary needs: “He’s asking if he can have some more chicken,” she said.

Fitzpatrick further divined my darling is worried about my back. Huh?! Actually, the concern did make some sense because, on an icy morning, I almost took a tumble when walking with sweetheart and strained my back.

Fitzpatrick will not lead you astray in her care and concern for dogs. Her empathy for them is no act, and if she can really communicate with woofers, nobody will better channel an animal’s feelings — although Dog Lady believes these thoughts basically boil down to: “Gimme a walk. Gimme food. Gimme you.”

Fitzpatrick has recently taken up the pet health cause, teaming up with the Pet Parent’s Network (www.petparentsnetwork .com) to sell a vitamin and immune-boosting system for dogs called Health Guard. Despite the sales mission, Fitzpatrick clearly is a dog lady after Dog Lady’s heart. With any disturbance, she said, “It’s never the dog. It’s always the human being.” Her insight is right on the money. Whether it’s worth $300 is up to you.

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